You know you've worked in Equity-Waver Theatre if...
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| "John Steinbeck’s SWEET THURSDAY (2012) at Pacific Resident Theatre in Venice." - Stage Raw |
I come from a family heavily into the performing arts. Now and then, I find a tidbit tucked in a book or box that brings a smile to my face. This humorous piece was part of an old email to my parents that was likely copied from some sarcastic performer's grousing back in the day.
Off-off-Broadway theaters are smaller New York City theaters than Broadway and off-Broadway theaters, and usually have fewer than 100 seats. The off-off-Broadway movement began in 1958 as part of an anti-commercial and experimental or avant-garde movement of drama and theatre. Equity waiver is a term used in reference to the performance at 99-seat or less theaters. In order to perform or to be on stage there, an actor doesn’t have to be in the union. A union member as well as a non-union member can perform in these productions. It is now officially called ‘showcase code’, but the term ‘equity waiver’ is still used informally. These theater productions serve as opportunities for actors to be seen by agents and casting directors.
Back in the day, these were basically bare bones productions.
You know you've worked in Equity-Waver Theatre if...
☆ your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do.
☆ you have your own secret family recipe for stage blood.
☆ you've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes.
☆ you've ever driven around the back of stores looking for discards that can be used as set pieces.
☆ you can find a prop in the prop room that hasn't seen the light of day in ten years, but you don't know where your own vacuum cleaner is.
☆ you have a Frequent Shopper Card at the Salvation Army.
☆ you start buying your work clothes at the Goodwill so that you can buy your costumes at the mall.
☆ you fully understand that the name Stephen Sondheim is synonymous with 3 months of rehearsals.
☆ you've ever taken time off your job to work on the show.
☆ you've worked your vacation time to coincide with tech week.
☆ you've ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker.
☆ your family is more than 50% of the staff.
☆ you've ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with hot glue.
☆ you've ever appeared in a show where tech week is devoted to getting the running time under four and a half hours.
☆ you've ever appeared on stage in an English drawing room murder mystery where half the cast spoke with southern accents.
☆ you've ever gotten a part because you were the only one who showed up for auditions.
☆ you've ever gotten a part because you were the only male who showed up for the auditions.
☆ the audience recognizes you the minute you walk on state because they saw you taking out the trash before the show.
☆ you've ever have to menace and/or/threaten someone with a gun held together with hot glue and electrical tape.
☆ you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing an evening gown and heels.
☆ you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage wearing an evening gown and heels - and you're a guy.
☆ you've ever played the father of someone your father's age.
☆ you've ever appeared in a show where an actor leaned out through a window without opening it first.
☆ you actually KNOW the difference between good Shakespeare and BAD Shakespeare, and have spent time in a bar trying to explain the difference to people who will listen.
☆ you've ever had to play a drunk scene opposite someone who was really drunk.
☆ you've ever heard a director say, "Try not to bump into the furniture," and mean it.
☆ the lead vocalist complains that the music keeps changing tempos, but the music is on a CD.
☆ you've appeared in a show featuring a flushing toilet sound effect.
☆ the set designer has ever told you not to walk on the left half of the stage because the floor paint is still wet - five minutes before curtain.
☆ you've ever been told that the reason that your director has no eyebrows is because he/she handled the special effects for the last show.
☆ you've ever said, "Don't worry, we'll use duct tape; if that doesn't work, we can hot glue it."
☆ you have the need to forward [this email] to more than 5 people who will totally understand.
I can recall experiencing some of these. Staples work great on hems that are unraveling right before you enter. I've had to ad lib when a prop actually breaks on stage, also.
My best worst moment on stage happened when someone toppled the prop table mid-scene. The scene itself had my quarreling with my brother. I waved my fellow performer - a newb close to breaking character - aside, marched to the "window", pretended to throw open the sash, and screamed [paraphrased here] to the "neighbor" - "Mr. Johnson, will you please keep it down! I'll call the police on you, I will! Jackass!" I returned to my mark and we proceeded with our heated argument in the scene.
I had a good teacher.