Useless waffling on a rough day

 

The snarky shit in me wants to point out that we can't see but one star during the day, and there's too much light pollution to see anything but the moon at night.

I'm not going to fault her for being a pessimist. Today is one of those days. It's cold. I ache. I slipped on the ice. I wish I could gnaw my own spine off to kill the painful parts. 

Maybe not the whole spine. Just those last two lumbar vertebrats. 

That might make running with stars nearly impossible. I mean, yeah, it doesn't take much to watch stars and put my imagination to use. Finding them is a major setback.

I have never lived in a place where the stars weren't visible. California? Colorado? We could see them. But here in Ohio, so close to Pittsburgh and surrounded by our own light pollution? Not a chance. I wonder how far I would have to drive to even glimpse Venus.

Not to worry. I can see stars on my monitor. I can still remember how beautiful the Milky Way looked from my vantage point on a grassy hillside. They're the same stars viewed by Marcus Aurelius long ago.

Now there's a man that embodied Stoic philosophy.

I'm really not into philosophy. I have had friends and cousins that were. My beliefs are a jumble  of borrowed bits from various cultures. Of all the ideas out there, I find Stoic best describes my approach to the world.

Stoicism is a philosophy of personal ethics informed by its system of logic and its views on the natural world. According to its teachings, as social beings, the path to eudaimonia (happiness, or blessedness) is found in accepting the moment as it presents itself, by not allowing oneself to be controlled by the desire for pleasure or by the fear of pain, by using one's mind to understand the world and to do one's part in nature's plan, and by working together and treating others fairly and justly.

Confession: I find it sometimes hard to accept the moment at hand. No surprise there.

I was raised Catholic. There is much beauty to be found within the doctrines. More to the point, Catholics don't pluck verses and clobber people with them. "Don't read a verse; read the passage to understand Christ's teachings."

I also identify with Magyar Tengrism. It's weird. Yes, it can gel with Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism. Well, identify with aspects. I'm not going to cut loose and scale Mount Burkhan Khaldun like a modern day Genghis Khan.

 

Sorry, could not resist adding that.

In the end, it's my jumble of beliefs that gets me through each day. And on days when the pain is constant, I do my best to live hour to hour, struggling to maintain enough spark to remember the stars and see myself running with them.

/waffling