A place to call home
Home. The word takes on so many meanings depending upon perspective. Home is where you hang your hat, yet they say that you can never go home again, and I suppose the ideal home is one that is sweet? But, for those that don't have any, the word becomes precious. Home is a sense of belonging rather than living somewhere that feels temporal, as though one is staying in a hotel or crashing at a friend's house.
We have lived with that temporal feel since 2014. If you're a regular reader, I won't bore you with a rehash. If you aren't, this entry won't make much sense. The beginning of our tale is here: Origins.
I stood my ground. Firmly. Without any chance of ever backing down. Better Half and I needed more space. I claimed the "office" (my dad's old lair). I painted it. I packed away my mother's scripts and other work, and I refused to give up the space. My therapist will be so proud!
At first, my mother was eager to file her stacks of papers. Well, until she realized that I wasn't clearing the room for her. I would be more than happy to set up the foyer as a studio for her, and even tore apart our corner of the dining room to accommodate our breakfront.
We have to repair those, of course, and I can't find an exact match for the paint! Oh nos! We need to do it before the appraiser arrives!
(We're refinancing so our names will be on the mortgage, as we've covered the monthly payments for years, ergo we're not homeless should my mom pass away.)
Gone are the pissy walls. Gone is the orangy-stained ceiling. Everything painted, all the wood properly oiled. In went my old desk, the bookcases, her books, and all the things that Mom holds dear. She's so damn pleased by it that she's kept the overhead light on to better admire it.
And, in a move that utterly surprised me, she set Dad's ashes and hat on a shelf right by the desk.
I'm... well, I'm shocked and also so very happy that she's happy. I'm also hoping I instilled a bit of trust. I don't have any intention of taking over or getting rid of her things. I simply want to enhance the beauty of those things.
The downside to this is that I broke every fingernail. Every. Fingernail. They snapped while moving the bookcases, tearing off the nails to expose ragged bits of hyponychium and the bare nail bed. I can't open things, or pick up coins etc. Drumming my fingers (and typing) is painful. Exposing them to chemicals is excruciating.
So worth it!
It's also worth noting that my breakfront looks really good in the dining room. It has a purpose, and we can access it without interrupting her TV watching. The downside is that the broken fridge is now on the porch until I find a way to get it hauled off. Perhaps a "free" sign will do the trick?
We expanded by a room, meaning we have the entire upstairs, sans my Mom's bedroom, that we can now use. It gives us a pleasant degree of separation - I love my Better Half, but he deserves a space where he can listen to his music or watch his programs while I write, tweet, or hit up YouTube in the second room.
The ability to be apart makes being together even better.
The dogs don't know what to do with all the free space. They've had only the bed and a narrow path around it as a play zone. With Better Half on the bed and me stuck at my small desk, they really didn't get to engage their brains. It's a different story, now. Both Angus and Hershey have been chasing each other, fetching toys, and burning off pent up energy. I rolled round with them on the office floor earlier. Carpet angels are the best! They can run down the hall, or pick a room to be in. I've never seen them so happy.
We're not done, of course. There are still things that need to be brought to the basement; boxes of outdated programming books, user guides to equipment that has long since departed this house, and general stuff that shouldn't be upstairs at all.
My hope is to get a Dumpster in the spring. We can sort through all the stuff in both basement and garage. Perhaps we could make enough room to get some of our stuff out of storage? Would be nice if we didn't have make that payment every month.
Hey, one day at a time. We accomplished a lot so far. We deserve a chance to just relax and enjoy our new environment.
We're home.
