Giving an Elephant a Bath
It's 2 AM. I'm doing my best to get sleepy, though it's damn difficult due to pain. My best option is to let my mind wear itself out. I accomplish this by browsing the internet in pursuit of knowledge.
Tonight's topic: elephants. During the course of an hour, I remind myself of all the things I've forgotten over the years. I stumbled upon an elephant joke cache by mistake. Oh lord, bad puns only a dad could tell!
Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles?
— So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.
Have you ever found an elephant in your custard?
— No? Well, it must work.
How can you tell if an elephant is colorblind?
— You can see its feet sticking out of the custard.
Why do elephants live in herds?
— To get a wholesale reduction on shoes with yellow soles.
By the way, what's that black triangle sticking out of the custard?
— It's a shark. That's why the elephants are hiding…
My Dad would have snickered at the punchlines.
Dad and those elephants.
Out of the wells of my memory comes the phrase "Giving an elephant a bath". It was my father's reply to my childhood perpetual question, "What are you doing?"
Of course I could see what Dad was doing, and there wasn't any elephant involved. Drawing my bath, poking around the garage, resting on the front stoop after mowing the lawn... all these elicited the same response. I suppose it was just a good example of "dad humor".
I never asked him why he chose that particular phrase. It's during nights like this that I find myself regretting not asking. It's during nights like this that miss him the most.
Tonight's topic: elephants. During the course of an hour, I remind myself of all the things I've forgotten over the years. I stumbled upon an elephant joke cache by mistake. Oh lord, bad puns only a dad could tell!
Why do elephants wear shoes with yellow soles?
— So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.
Have you ever found an elephant in your custard?
— No? Well, it must work.
How can you tell if an elephant is colorblind?
— You can see its feet sticking out of the custard.
Why do elephants live in herds?
— To get a wholesale reduction on shoes with yellow soles.
By the way, what's that black triangle sticking out of the custard?
— It's a shark. That's why the elephants are hiding…
My Dad would have snickered at the punchlines.
Out of the wells of my memory comes the phrase "Giving an elephant a bath". It was my father's reply to my childhood perpetual question, "What are you doing?"
Of course I could see what Dad was doing, and there wasn't any elephant involved. Drawing my bath, poking around the garage, resting on the front stoop after mowing the lawn... all these elicited the same response. I suppose it was just a good example of "dad humor".
I never asked him why he chose that particular phrase. It's during nights like this that I find myself regretting not asking. It's during nights like this that miss him the most.